Today as I read through blogs filled with creative ministry and home ideas, I am surprised by a single thought that came with no warning: “How do all of these awesome women in ministry have the best portraits? What do I have to do to get one of those?”
How could I be worthy of a picture like that?
I was shocked at myself, and a bit confused. Huh? Where did that come from? I followed the rabbit trail a bit, but was ill-prepared for the floodgates that opened up. A torrent of thought and emotion that I didn’t know had been building came pouring out of my heart. And my eyes. If I’m being honest (and I will be for you), I’d felt the uneasiness of late, yet couldn’t put a finger on what was amiss. Something. And here it came, pouring out:
I’m a wife, Lord. And a mom. And I’m trying to keep my home inviting and my son fed and clean and engaged. I’m a bookkeeper who balances figures. I am meeting new moms and striving to encourage future ones. I sing to you when nobody listens and I’m happy backstage or on the sidelines or holding down the fort in the evenings. I love your Word, and I want to be like you. But I don’t have a beautiful picture to display. Is it enough, Lord?
Is it enough. A question which had silently become a statement in my mind – a faulty plumb line I was using to find the center of things… I had been asking the question without realizing. Am I worthy? Is it enough?
Just as quickly I was answered by the voice I cannot describe except to say that it is His.
No, it is not enough. But I am enough.
I only wish I had asked sooner.
What I do, what I have, will never be enough. And He will always be. I knew that, silly me.
He is enough for you too, friend.
I turned off the TV this week, and picked up a book. Well, six books. (yeah..) My world was being saturated with noise and I needed some time away from the Tube.
